A friend of mine wrote this, thought I'd share

Why won't they just let me be
Why won't they just let me be me
You can grow up to be what you want to be
It's a lie
They want something else secretly
When life fucks you from everywhere
In all positions
You loose direction
Complaining whining telling lies
You try to move on indefinately
But that never happens there's an infinite delay
Time never stops, it goes on
I don't wanna hear it
Stop talking to me
Relax don't worry it's all gonna be ok
No it's not, your words don't mean a lot
Breath dude no need to be rude
I'm never rude, I'm nice to everyone but where does that take you
To heartache and depression and they finally break you
You break down, you don't know what you're going to do now
It doesn't matter, people around you don't stop and ask whatsup
Or even try to help you up
From the fallen mess you've become
You get up and wash the mud off your face
To realize it's ever lasting mud
Now what? You scrub you clean
But it seems
You can't ever be new and shiny
It's like you're naked and happy and then it hits you
You try to cover yourself
But things can't be unseen
You say one thing and then another the next minute
Is caring about others feelings now extinct?
I don't wanna hear it
Stop talking to me
When you're broke and you're broken
There is no where to go
You pick the pieces and try to put them back in the jig saw
But they don't fit anymore
There is no where to go
A part of you has died
Can never he revived


-- Post From My iPhone

Exhausted

I'm exhausted. I read my last post and can't remember how or why I was so happy. I've been having exams for the past month. A month before they started, I was having mock exams. So basically I've been giving exam pe exam, exam pe exam for the 3 months. I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
Everybody cheats during the exams, one way or the other. We have the most disorganized papers. My last viva is on Monday. I wish I could say I'm free after that. I'll probably get only a week off before my final year starts. This one week off will be filled with shopping sprees for my cousins' wedding. It will also be filled with data analysis, for our so called research. The research I have worked on for almost an year now, the research that is supposed to be part of a competition. The competition which is being held by people who have no idea what they're doing.
Anyway, to get away from it all I'm planning a top secret vacation with my best friend. Shhh. Don't tell anyone ;)

-- Post From My iPhone

2009

I remember what I was doing last year on new years eve. I don't know if I wish I could turn back time or be glad that it's all over and that history is not repeating itself. Bitter sweet memories of the year. One thing I believe I've accomplished this year - I managed not to loose my temper. My annual explosion. Didn't happen this year. And I'm oh so proud of myself. But then again, few more hours to go till 12. Tehheeee=P
I can safely say that 2009 was one of the most, or the most memorable year of my life. I think I was in this little ball for so many years and something made me come out.
I sat in itikaf for a day. It was the most peaceful experience. I had went in thinking how was I going to spend 24 hours without seeing or talking to anybody except my mother and I came out thinking God I wish I had more time.
I did things that I thought I was too old for. Hehe. Too old? This year I also realized that I'm not too old! I played minigolf! And I'm not ashamed to admit that I love playing games on my iPod! And I realized there's nothing wrong with having fun! And interacting with new people! And making new friends!
Speaking of which, I've made amazing friends this year. People who I didn't know existed are amongst my closest friends now.
I've done a lot of other crazy things this year some of which cannot be mentioned here *wnk*
Whatever it is, I've learned how to have fun again. And how to be a good sport. How to make new friends. How to do something other then my God forsaken dentistry. I've realized my life doesn't have to revolve around these specific groups of people and things. I've realized that I don't have to work my life around someone elses schedule. I've learned how to stand up for myself, I've learned how to fight back, I've learned how not to be naive. I've learned how to whine less=P Most of all, I've learned how to be happy.
If I had to make any resolutions. Mine would be to be happy. (Nazar not laga-ing pliizzz) =D
On the down side, new years doesn't seem too happy. Bomb blasts everywhere, feels like the country's falling apart. I wish my year had ended as happy as it had begun.

-- Post From My iPhone

Purple Octopus

Exams blues. Signs of me studying too much or worrying too much or I don't know. I dream weird dreams. Some good ones too. But generally weird ones.
I dreamed of purple octopuses. No I am not exaggerating or kidding. I am dead serious. Look at my face -_- Really. Purple octopuses. 4 octopuses. That morphed from little orange baby octopuses to big purple ones. No wait, 2 octopuses that were really tiny purple ones. One medium sized with two normal eyes that got scared of me and basically fell apart in front of me. Like its brain sort of burst out of its huge head and I think it peed itself. The really big one, had like, 5 eyes, and it wasn't scared of me but it didn't bother me either. I think I saw Jani too. Jani had a TALL dog. Like a loongg slender tall dog that came upto Jani's height. Mom wanted Jani to give up the dog, but the dog liked Jani.
See. I have lost it officially.
Bright side. Dreaming. Often lets me wake up with a smile on my face. Because sometimes, you dream nice sweet dreams, things you wouldn't mind happening in real life. Like passing the finals, like making your parents really happy, like holding hands with someone;), like eating chocolate, like dipping hot french fries into cold icecream. And, like purple octopuses of course=P

Chilli Milli

I haven't written anything here in AGES. Lack of time, lack of things to write about, mainly because I had nothing to rant about you see. I've been very happy and preoccupied.
I just read the word Chilli Milli on my twitter time line. Brought back a flash of images that I just HAD to write about. Chilli Milli, are a new(old) kind of gummy bear jellies you see. They are sweet but definitely have a 'zing' to them.
Back in 6th or 7th grade, I had a girl in my class. The 'Queen B' if you will. She joined our class in 4th grade I think. She was totally all that. Really cute(grew up to be hot), EXCELLENT in studies, awesome in extracurricular activities, teacher's pet and the rest. The impact she had on all the girls was almost magical. They turned into empty eyed zombies who followed her around, did everything she did, wore everything she wore, obsessed over every new cartoon/boy band/tv show she obsessed over, hated everything she hated. Sat like her, walked, talked and acted like her, even changed their handwriting to match hers! (I did not say magical was a good thing)
Queen B would have an idea. Ding ding! And everybody would copy it. She was the pioneer of new handwriting styles, new ways to draw diagrams, painting was cooler then colouring etc etc.
Yes yes, I'm coming to the part about how she influenced ME. I wanted to be as good as her. Totally did. Although I did not change my hand writing, I might have adopted the painting was cooler then colouring idea=P I would say, that I did this in my own special way, but I might be lying. Might, because I don't really remember. Honestly. I had my own group of friends but I considered her a good friend too. But then (thunder and rain pouring), she ruined it. She never thought I was her friend. She accused me of cheating! On an English test! Because I had an old circular lying around in my desk at school! Oh the horror! Totally hated her after hated her after that day. And no, there was no confrontation or juicy fight. Sorry=P
Why Chilli Milli reminds me of her, is because when Chilli Milli was all new and stuff, we had went over to Queen B's place. Her mom had bought loads of packets of Chilli Milli. We sat there, around the Queen, while she opened the first packet of Chilli Milli, we all waited patiently. Waited for the verdict. Chilli Milli's fate was in the Queen's hands...erm...mouth...taste buds(whatever, you get the picture). The moment of truth, she called them "weird" or said "eww" or something down those lines. Some girls tried it, but nobody dared to have an opinion. Nobody.
What a stupid thing to rememeber right?=P But yeah. The Queen B culture. We have it to.

Every dream I dream is like
Some Kinda rash 'n' reckless scene
To give out such crazy love
You must be some kinda drug
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the same
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you

Prayers Needed

I have never been this dazed in my life and I don't think I've ever prayed this hard. I've never really talked to him, don't know him personally, he's just someone from twitter, but my heart goes out to him and his family.
Salman Mehmood, fellow twitter-er(or I dunno), is seriously ill. Has meningitis, has been in the hospital for a week, is on a ventilator right now and is not responding to medication. Doctors say they'll take him off the ventilator tomorrow if he doesn't respond.
My friends were over yesterday, we had fun, cracked jokes, laughed like idiots. But I would stop mid-laugh, because Salman came to mind. He has thalassemia too by the way. I've been asking God to grant him life, and have mercy on him and his family. His younger sister, is my age, they have seen too many hardships throughout their lives. From his tweets and from what I've heard of him, Salman is a funny guy, with an extremely positive outlook towards life. He's generous and extremely helpful. He helps gather people for blood donation camps. He seems like a fighter. May God give him the strength to fight. May he come back to life. I pray that he tweets about his recovery, and that he thanks everybody for their prayers.
He's young, he doesn't deserve this. I wish there was something I could do to help. Everybody's quite and depressed. Even Haris.
I've been thinking about my nani a lot. What we went through, in and out of the hospital. I never really cried after she passed away. I just know, that I'm not very good at handling these situations. Not good at all.
I request everybody whose reading this to pray for Salman, pray that he has more time with his family, pray that people get a chance to return the favors he did them, pray that he fights.